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Actor in Ellsworth AFB, South Dakota, United States

I have absolutely no accredited experience. I did once act in my 6th grade production concerning 1930s China, in which my teacher cast me as an Opium addict who shamed his family. The audience claimed I projected myself with such vigor, that my character's addictive personality and drug-induced phsycosis seemed believable. The truth is, I was an alcoholic and a Heroin addict when I was 11. That made my role in the production real easy. It took 8 years of extensive addiction treatment ... Moreand alot of remedial math courses to get me back from my dark abyss of cough syrup fixation.
Ok, none of that is true. I did act in the play as an opium addict, but I can't stand the taste of cough syrup and the only drug addiction I have is 2% milk. If I don't get a dairy fix within 30 minutes of waking up, my blood will itch from withdrawl symptoms. Ok, that's not true either.

In case you haven't noticed, I'm a bit of an over-exagurated writer. In fact, I'm a talented writer. I have been published many times in my hometown newspaper, where I take an active political interest in ongoing debates over wind-farm technology. I'm in the U.S. Air Force, so alternate energy seems like a good step in the right direction, considering I spent last christmas with Camel-spiders in Balad, Iraq. Somehow crude oil lost it's appeal in those 5 months. I henceforth took it upon myself to project my voice into my hometown community, which is lacking a bit of sense. Most are against wind-cultivated energy, because wind-mills are ugly and may scathe the local countryside. I take that argument with a grain of salt, considering most of those folk, don't mow their lawn since it's too difficult to maneuver between the 18 old Chevy trucks they placed on bricks in their front yard, as monuments to Vermont's "aestetic" coutryside.
So I can be articulate and passionate. I'm sure those traits are required in some acting roles.

English is my second language. I was born in Bremerhaven, Germany. My family moved to Vermont when I was 10, the same year in which I made my debute as an Opium addict. Needless to say, I learned English quickly enough to be cast in a production with excessive dialouge. I use the word excessive, because I found the production boring enough to be offensive.
Aside from English and German, I also speak Spanish. I don't have nearly the grasp of the Spanish language that I do with German, but I could order a beer in Mexico, if I had to.

I guess at this point, I should write a small, yet effective conclusion. Therefor, I will finish with a rough outline, of what I hope to accomplish by posting my profile on this site.
I hope for nothing more than to be cast in a Heineken commercial, because I would think myself to be pretty cool, if I can watch myself drink a Heineken, while I sit on my couch, drinking a Heineken. If the good people at Heineken don't require my talents, I'm suited best for clever comedy, as a well dressed protagonist who is chasing after the unattainable girl, who will eventually fall in love with me because the scriptwriter said she should fall in love with me.

That should cover it. Less