User's Blogs

<p>  </p> <p>  </p> <h3 class="post-title entry-title" itemprop="name" style="margin: 0px; position: relative; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: 30px; font-weight: normal; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); background-color: rgb(192, 161, 84); "> Ding Ding Ding!!! I have an idea. "The New 2nd Half of the Years Resolution"</h3> <div class="post-header" style="line-height: 1.6; margin: 0px 0px 1em; color: rgb(153, 119, 85); font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; background-color: rgb(192, 161, 84); "> <div class="post-header-line-1">  </div> </div> <div class="post-body entry-content" id="post-body-1865080535480548129" itemprop="articleBody" style="width: 568px; font-size: 14px; line-height: 1.5; position: relative; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; background-color: rgb(192, 161, 84); "> So I had a very serious reality check this week in regards to a flaw in my personality.  I've been aware of it for quite sometime, and I've come close to sabotaging relationships, jobs, opportunities...you name it.  I would love to use the excuse that as an actress I'm more overly sensitive, and access my emotions easily than others. Nope!  I'm not going to lie to myself any longer.  It's time to nip this in the bud and break the cycle.  The truth of the matter is that I'm being very self centered.  There is only a very small percent of the population that is actually out to take advantage of others.  Most individuals these days are just trying to do the best they can with the resources they have.  Because of these limited options some folks might have to make a certain choice, conduct themselves in a specific way, have rules and procedures they must follow, etc.  It's probably no reflection on anyone around them.  T<span style="background-color: white; ">he backbone of acting consists of learning to put yourself in the shoes of any character you're playing.  Well....shame on me!  I should be even more aware of the fact that you never know what's going on with those around you unless well,  you've walked a mile in their shoes.  </span><br /> So I've come up with a plan.  I managed to get my original New Years resolution accomplished a little early.  So what if I make what I'm calling a "New 2nd Half of the Years Resolution"?  It's kind of like those accelerated college degrees.  You complete your goal in 6 months instead of a year.  I'm pledging that from now on I will NOT take things so personally.  I'm no longer going to be selfish, and my first reaction will be to look at what the person I feel has hurt me is going through, and the big picture.  It will no longer be about how my feelings were hurt.  I will also make sure that I take 24 hours to assess anything that has made me angry before taking any sort of action because 9.5 times out of 10 I always find that I blow these types of situations way out of proportion.  Hello Mcfly????????????  I think it's about time for this to sink in through my thick skull.<br /> <br /> Happy New 2nd Half of the Year, and please feel free in joining me.  :)</div> <br />

<p>  </p> <p align="center"> “A Rampage That Taught Me Some Life Lessons”</p> <p align="center">  </p> <p>             As an aspiring actress I have never been much for action movies.  While action films have a lot of brilliance behind them in regards to special effects and stunts they are just not my cup of tea.  I am moved by films where the focus is more on dialogue and the acting.  My choice of an out of the norm film for me to view was pretty simple, and I went with an action flick. I searched through my roku menu and went with a film called “Rampage”.  “Rampage” received three and half stars from roku, and three stars on imbd.com.  It was filmed in the year of 2009 when the economy was at the height of financial ruin.  The synopsis of this film listed on roku is “Desperation drives a bitter small town man to don a bullet proof vest, grab a semi-automatic weapon and attempt the largest killing spree ever.”  The film was stars Brendan Fletcher, Shawn Sipos, and Lynda Boyd.  It was directed by Uwe Boll.  I must say this film really surprised me.  I assumed it was going to just be about some crazy man going around and shooting up people, but it actually turned out to be much deeper than that.</p> <p>             The movie opens with some really great shots of the main character, Bill Williamson burning all of his clothing in a secluded area possibly to cover up evidence of something illegal.  The film then flashes back in time to the week before. You find that Bill is a young man, most likely in his early twenties, still living at home, and not really going anywhere in life.  It is also evident that Bill is not very happy about his present situation.  As the day goes on you see how angry Bill is as he gets into multiple arguments over petty things with various vendors throughout town.  Bill then joins up with a friend of his who seems to feel his pain.  While all of this is going on you hear clips of various television and radio broadcasts talking about how greedy, materialistic, and selfish humans are.  This could have possibly been trying to point out that this was a huge reason why our economy crashed.  I really liked how they put these clips in intermittently during the film.  At this point in the movie I was questioning the dialogue and acting  because it didn’t seem very deep.  However, it did suddenly dawn on me that this film was most likely a satire of people’s reaction to the economy so the silly deliverance of the characters lines actually fit.</p> <p>             The conflict of the film was a huge shocker.  I was particularly intrigued by the way they set up a certain shot when Bill was driving back to his house after his day out harassing local vendors.  The picture was shaking like they jerked the camera around on purpose.  I first chalked this up to B rated filming, but I realized it worked really well because it made me very nervous anticipating what was going to come next.  Bill was in his room building a bomb, and you see him pulling out an armored suit, and a huge gun.  Bill is also communicating with his friend about their plan to go on a shooting rampage.  There are more intense clips of broadcast going more into depth about greed, the state of the economy, and the country being at war.  I started to like the main characters acting more and more because he kept you guessing.  He was able to put a comedic spin on crazy behavior. </p> <p>             My hypothesis that this movie was a satire seemed to prove correct when Bill and his friend went into town and started shooting at anyone and anybody.  At one point Bill went into a hair salon with is enormous gun, and badgered all of the women present.  When Bill left one lady just said “what a d*ckhead” and business went back to business as usual.  This is not a typical reaction most humans would have however this could have been implying that people had become numb to violence and crazy behavior.  Next Bill went into a bingo hall.  No one seemed to even be bothered that a man walked in with an enormous weapon.  They just kept right on playing bingo.  This is also not your typical human response.  This could have be pointing out that people have just become so focused on making or winning money that not even the extreme threat of their life could take their eyes off the prize. </p> <p>             Bill and his friend were supposed to meet up, but Bill took a detour and robbed a local bank.  When he joined up with his partner in crime, he ended up killing him.  The movie is then at the place it started where Bill is burning all of his evidence.  Bill then proceeds home with the large stash of cash he has acquired.  No one suspects he was the killer because he had a mask on the entire time concealing his identity.  You then see his parents baby him because they are so worried about him witnessing all of the killings that he was actually behind.  It also came out that his friends (who he killed) body was found.  His mother then mentions to Bill’s father that they probably need to get him some counseling because of everything they think he’s been through.  The ironic thing is that his mother is a psychologist, and is totally oblivious to the fact that her son is completely loony. I loved this plot twist.  It also made it even more humorous that Bill’s parents were almost modern day cardboard cut outs of Ward and June Cleaver. </p> <p>             The film ends with Bill posting a broadcast on the internet of how he is over society, it’s hostility, and it’s greed.  However Bill has committed many murders of innocent people, and robbed a bank.  This was a brilliant way to prove how hypocritical and self-righteous members of the human race can be.  You then see a caption that Bill disappeared never to be seen again. </p> <p>             I was pleasantly surprised by this film, and it has made me realize that I shouldn’t be so close minded when it comes to action movies.  Science fiction has been used so many times over the years to make political statements so why can’t action films be a portal as well?  I’m actually really disappointed with myself for never taking this into consideration.   This movie not only had a unique editing and filming style, but also made some really important points about the state of our country during 2009.  Individuals had been so used to living in comfort that when the economy crashed so many people who had never seem hard times could barely deal with a less than upscale lifestyle.  I also feel that Bill’s rampage was a brilliant example of the war our country is involved in.  A lot of people feel that there is no rhyme or reason to what our country is fighting for, and many men and women have been killed needlessly, thus there was really no explanation for Bill’s actions.  Bill’s mother being a psychologist and not seeing how crazy her son was is another important factor of the movie.  They could have been trying to show us that people have chosen to bury their heads in the sand, and tune out all of the horrible events going on around them.  I could go on and on about other morals this movie taught, but I feel that I have picked out the best intents of the film. </p> <p>             This movie did have the elements of an action movie with all of the shooting that happened during the rampage, but it was not overdone like some action flicks.  It was just enough to show the viewer that horrible killings were taking a place, so we could focus more on the films intents.  I’m very shocked that this movie is not more well known, and would even recommend it as something to be shown in college psychology, or sociology classes because of its deep meanings.  "Rampage" had a great impact on me, and it made me very aware that I have perhaps tuned out a lot of what’s going on around me.  My life is always crazy busy, but now I realize my scattered schedule is not so relevant.  It's actually very small potatoes compared to all of the issues taking place in our society.  This film will never let me forget this. </p>

<p>  </p> <p style="margin: 0px; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; "> This was a blog I wrote back in March of 2008 after being blow away watching a new series at the time running on HBO called "In Treatment".  This particular scene was life changing for me, and caused me to do an about face on how I see dating, relationships, and marriage.  We can't judge anyone for who they fall for, and also have a clear understanding of this when playing any character.</p> <p style="margin: 0px; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; ">  </p> <p style="margin: 0px; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; ">  </p> <div> <p> HBO has struck again with another riveting series.  Over the years they have blessed us with shows, and documentaries that have impacted my life.  Just when I thought the golden age of HBO was ending with the season finale of "The Sopranos", a new show had been born to continue the rein.  This time the premium network cable channel has gone back to basics.  There are no special effects or fancy scenery; it is all about the acting. </p> <p> The series revolves around one main character, Paul who is a brilliant therapist.  His practice is run in very cozy and roomy office out of his home.  The series runs 5 nights a week.  The first four nights of each week we witness the sessions of 4 very complex characters that are Paul’s patients.  To make matters even more interesting there is a curve ball thrown in on the fifth night of each week.  We find that Paul is actually in therapy himself to try and fix his failing marriage, and to come to terms with his growing feelings towards Laura, one of his patients.</p> <p> Anyways, I never meant to sound like some wanna be critic writing this blog.  I will get down to the nitty gritty while this is all fresh in my mind.  My entire life I have always perceived psychologists as people who can stay out of unhealthy situations because they have the right tools mentally.  The ironic thing is that I see now that even the most mentally educated people are just as human as we are.  Up until I started watching this show I always felt that one stayed in the wrong circumstances such as a bad relationship, living situation, job, etc because they did not love themselves, and did not feel they deserved better in life.  As I began to grow older I started to believe that all of my bad relationships and flings were a result of my own insecurities.  While the majority of these experiences were probably a result of my own past self esteem issues I was recently taught from this show that there are other important factors involved.</p> <p> In last nights episode Paul was at his therapy appointment with his therapist, Gina.  Gina is a very close friend and colleague of Paul’s.  Both of them know a lot about each other, or so they think.  For awhile you watch Gina and Paul push each others buttons with psychotherapy Jedi minds games.  Paul intermittently lets his guard down, but becomes angry at Gina each time this happens because she has won at the game.  Each time this occurs Paul shuts off his vulnerability and finds a way to insult Gina.  Gina is tough as nails, or so we think.  For weeks you watch Paul’s insults towards Gina roll off her back like water.  As time went on you slowly see Gina breaking down.  Last night Paul finally pushed Gina too far in telling her how she broke one of her patient’s hearts to pieces.  Paul has assumed all of this time that she blew her only chance at happiness to obey the code of therapy ethics in never getting involved with a patient. </p> <p> Gina finally breaks.  Within seconds it is revealed that Gina is not the hard by the book emotionless person we thought she was.  You see Gina tear up and defend herself.  Gina explains to Paul that she was very fond of this male patient, and even "wanted to eat him up".  However, she was not in love with him.  You learn that Gina was actually married for a number of years.  Gina admits that her husband cheated on her many times, and made a fool out of her.  She even stayed with him until his death.  My first reaction was to judge her as a weak woman who didn’t love herself, as this how I felt about my past similar involvements.  Little did I know how far off base I was in my whole thought process.  Gina assures the audience that she is a very confident self loving person with simple dialect.  I am still left wondering why she tortured herself for years by staying with her husband.   After a few agonizing seconds of anticipation Gina tells us, "I loved the person I was around him".</p> </div> <div> <p> As quickly as the last few grains of sand drop through an hour glass my whole viewpoint on relationships and dating is forever changed.  I see it so clearly now.  I now understand why so many people close to me have chosen be terrible marriages and attachments. And more importantly, the missing puzzle piece to my past dating experiences has been has been found.  Ever since I watched this episode I have gone through my sorted dating timeline.  There were men that made me feel sexy as hell, guys who accepted me for all of my faults and even loved me for them, and fellows I could be myself to my entirety around.  I feel so lucky to have been introduced to this show.   I have such an inner piece now.   Because of this one particular plot line I can forgive myself for staying around too long in certain romantic situations.  I have come to realize that at times the euphoria certain men gave me out weighed their shortcomings in their overall treatment of me, but only temporarily.  As a long time number cruncher I always end up creating a "T-Account" of any situation I am pondering.  If the debit and credits, i.e. the good and bad traits do not balance out, or if the bad traits out number the good traits it results in me cutting my losses. </p> </div> <div> <p> Maybe it is a combination of my stubborn accounting background, and reading the book "He’s Just Not That into You."  Or perhaps it is simply because there has never been a man in my life that has been so extraordinary that I was willing to put up with his cheating or poor treatment.  All I know now is that I have to remember Gina’s situation could be the case with many of those close to me.  These individuals I speak of are my long term dear friends and family members.  They are of a different kind of love that is much simpler to grasp.  One thing I have always known about them is that their presence in my life is a gift from heaven.  Because I am so fortunate to have these people in my life I must never forget to support them if they are dealing with what I will now call a "Gina situation."</p> </div> <div>  </div>

<p> This was a story I began writing a few years back, but never finished.  My mother had an aunt by marriage who was one of the most dynamic individuals I have ever known.  Tragically her brother was killed in WWII, and his bedroom was always kept as a shrine.  I remember visiting my mothers aunt back in 1998, and seeing the room for the first time.  As soon as I began looking at all of his belongings I got chills.  It was as if I was picking up on unresolved sorrow her family never dealt with.  I also felt for a breif second that possibly that Marion's (my mothers aunts name) brothers spirit may have not passed on yet because he didn't feel his family could let him go.  This unfinished piece was inspired from these events.</p> <p>  </p> <p style="text-align: center; "> "Marion's Brother"</p> <p style="text-align: left; ">  </p> <div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; ">  </div> <div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-size: 11px; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; "> <br /> <div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; ">  </div> <div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; "> <div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: arial; vertical-align: baseline; color: rgb(38, 38, 38); line-height: 18px; "> "I need to speak with you as soon as possible".  I said to her.</div> <div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: arial; vertical-align: baseline; color: rgb(38, 38, 38); line-height: 18px; "> "We have a lot of preparation to do before tonight, can this wait?" She asked.</div> <div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: arial; vertical-align: baseline; color: rgb(38, 38, 38); line-height: 18px; "> "No, I'm afraid it can't, I have information that I must relay to you before your group begins this evening."</div> <div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: arial; vertical-align: baseline; color: rgb(38, 38, 38); line-height: 18px; "> "You, mean about the paranormal activty in your mothers aunts home?"</div> <div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: arial; vertical-align: baseline; color: rgb(38, 38, 38); line-height: 18px; "> "That is correct."</div> <div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: arial; vertical-align: baseline; color: rgb(38, 38, 38); line-height: 18px; "> "Be at the house as soon as you can Erin, I am getting into my car as soon as I hang up".  </div> <div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: arial; vertical-align: baseline; color: rgb(38, 38, 38); line-height: 18px; ">  </div> <div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: arial; vertical-align: baseline; color: rgb(38, 38, 38); line-height: 18px; "> As soon as the line went dead my body became paralyzed by fear.  I had told no one of my ghostly relationship.  Of course everyone close to me had thought I had gone around the bin, and for all I knew, I had too.  I was about to expose the one thing in my life that was pure, and belonged to me.  I was about to admit how selfish I had been in keeping a perfect man in limbo.  I couldn't go into Marion's home as I knew Evan would be there so I stayed in the car.  I would have to confess the events of the past few months to Sylvia outside the house.  As I waited for Sylvia I looked over at the for sale sign stuck in the grass in the front yard which now read "sold" on the top.  It almost looked like Evan's tomb stone.  I kept telling myself that I was doing this because truely loving someone sometimes means setting them free.  I heard the familiar sound of the diesel engine of Sylvia's mercedes.  I slid down in the seat of my car, and broke into a cold sweat.</div> <div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: arial; vertical-align: baseline; color: rgb(38, 38, 38); line-height: 18px; ">  </div> <div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: arial; vertical-align: baseline; color: rgb(38, 38, 38); line-height: 18px; "> Sylvia's vehicle pulled up behind me and parked.  As soon as she cut the engine, and got out of her car she walked towrds me.  As soon as she approached my car I rolled down the window.  "We can't talk in the house" I said.</div> <div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: arial; vertical-align: baseline; color: rgb(38, 38, 38); line-height: 18px; ">  </div> <div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: arial; vertical-align: baseline; color: rgb(38, 38, 38); line-height: 18px; "> "I know." she replied  "Why don't you get out and we will talk in my car".</div> <div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: arial; vertical-align: baseline; color: rgb(38, 38, 38); line-height: 18px; ">  </div> <div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: arial; vertical-align: baseline; color: rgb(38, 38, 38); line-height: 18px; "> I took a deep breathe, and slowly got out of the car.  Somehow Sylvia picked up on my energy, and helped me to the passenger seat of her automobile.  As soon as I was safely seated I put my head between my legs to combat the dizziness my lighthead had brought me.  "Take your time."  Sylvia said.  "Relax my child, you have done nothing wrong. I am hear to help you, I am a medium and taking care of these situations is what I was born to do."</div> <div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: arial; vertical-align: baseline; color: rgb(38, 38, 38); line-height: 18px; ">  </div> <div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: arial; vertical-align: baseline; color: rgb(38, 38, 38); line-height: 18px; "> I began to shake violently.  After tonight Evan was going to be gone.</div> <div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: arial; vertical-align: baseline; color: rgb(38, 38, 38); line-height: 18px; ">  </div> <div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: arial; vertical-align: baseline; color: rgb(38, 38, 38); line-height: 18px; "> "I I...." I could not get the words out, where did I begin?</div> <div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: arial; vertical-align: baseline; color: rgb(38, 38, 38); line-height: 18px; ">  </div> <div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: arial; vertical-align: baseline; color: rgb(38, 38, 38); line-height: 18px; ">  </div> <div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: arial; vertical-align: baseline; color: rgb(38, 38, 38); line-height: 18px; "> My shaky hand reached into my purse and pulled out the tatered picture of Evan that I found months ago.  I then gave the photo to Syliva.  "Yes" she said "This is the man I saw in the house during our survalence, it all makes sense now."</div> <div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: arial; vertical-align: baseline; color: rgb(38, 38, 38); line-height: 18px; ">  </div> <div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: arial; vertical-align: baseline; color: rgb(38, 38, 38); line-height: 18px; "> "What?" I asked.  What was she talking about?</div> <div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: arial; vertical-align: baseline; color: rgb(38, 38, 38); line-height: 18px; ">  </div> <div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: arial; vertical-align: baseline; color: rgb(38, 38, 38); line-height: 18px; "> "On almost every single cluster of EVP's we heard a man calling 'rin' we thought maybe it was a pet he once had, or some sort of game.  Now I know he was looking for you.  Your mother also mentioned in passing that you were often staying out most of the night since Marion's death.  This is where you come at night, isn't it?</div> <div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: arial; vertical-align: baseline; color: rgb(38, 38, 38); line-height: 18px; ">  </div> <div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: arial; vertical-align: baseline; color: rgb(38, 38, 38); line-height: 18px; "> "Yes". I whispered</div> <div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: arial; vertical-align: baseline; color: rgb(38, 38, 38); line-height: 18px; ">  </div> <div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: arial; vertical-align: baseline; color: rgb(38, 38, 38); line-height: 18px; "> "The energy that surrounds you is nothing like I have ever seen before.  You have spiritual abilities that are very strong."</div> <div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: arial; vertical-align: baseline; color: rgb(38, 38, 38); line-height: 18px; ">  </div> <div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: arial; vertical-align: baseline; color: rgb(38, 38, 38); line-height: 18px; "> "What the hell was she speaking of?" I asked myself.</div> <div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: arial; vertical-align: baseline; color: rgb(38, 38, 38); line-height: 18px; ">  </div> <div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: arial; vertical-align: baseline; color: rgb(38, 38, 38); line-height: 18px; "> I actually began to laugh.</div> <div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: arial; vertical-align: baseline; color: rgb(38, 38, 38); line-height: 18px; ">  </div> <div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: arial; vertical-align: baseline; color: rgb(38, 38, 38); line-height: 18px; "> "Don't do this to yourself" she cried.  "I am dying to go into more details of how special you truely are, but time is very crucial right now.  You must tell me everything about Evan."</div> <div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: arial; vertical-align: baseline; color: rgb(38, 38, 38); line-height: 18px; ">  </div> <div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: arial; vertical-align: baseline; color: rgb(38, 38, 38); line-height: 18px; "> I realized I never did tell her his name. </div> <div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: arial; vertical-align: baseline; color: rgb(38, 38, 38); line-height: 18px; ">  </div> <div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: arial; vertical-align: baseline; color: rgb(38, 38, 38); line-height: 18px; "> "I don't know where to start."  I cried.</div> <div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: arial; vertical-align: baseline; color: rgb(38, 38, 38); line-height: 18px; ">  </div> <div style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: arial; vertical-align: baseline; color: rgb(38, 38, 38); line-height: 18px; "> "Begin from the time you first came accross the picture." she said quietly.</div> </div> </div> <p style="text-align: center; ">  </p>

<p> I was recently in the play "Passengers" this semsters for school.  One of the the best experiences of my life I must say.  As an aspiring actress I have chosen to take the route of receiving my training through college courses.  Therefore I am required to write papers on various plays, scripts, and characters.  One of my assignments this semester was to put together a character analysis of Mrs. Evans which was one of my roles in the production.  Below is my take on what Mrs. Evans life could have been like before her scene in the play.  There is a spolier alert if you are not familiar with "Passengers".</p> <p>  </p> <div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX207775333" style="text-indent: 0px; margin-left: 0px"> <p class="Paragraph SCX207775333" paraid="1807422399" style="text-align: right; background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; text-indent: 0px; width: auto; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, 'Sans-Serif'; height: auto; color: windowtext; font-size: 8pt; vertical-align: baseline; font-weight: normal; margin-right: 23px"> <span class="TextRun SCX207775333" style="font-family: Times New Roman, Serif; font-size: 12pt" xml:lang="EN-US">Bryn Berg</span></p> </div> <div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX207775333" style="text-indent: 0px; margin-left: 0px"> <p class="Paragraph SCX207775333" paraid="1371066748" style="text-align: right; background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; text-indent: 0px; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, 'Sans-Serif'; color: windowtext; font-size: 8pt; vertical-align: baseline; font-weight: normal"> <span class="TextRun SCX207775333" style="font-family: Times New Roman, Serif; font-size: 12pt" xml:lang="EN-US">THA-201 </span></p> </div> <div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX207775333" style="text-indent: 0px; margin-left: 0px"> <p class="Paragraph SCX207775333" paraid="77938069" style="text-align: right; background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; text-indent: 0px; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, 'Sans-Serif'; color: windowtext; font-size: 8pt; vertical-align: baseline; font-weight: normal"> <span class="TextRun SCX207775333" style="font-family: Times New Roman, Serif; font-size: 12pt" xml:lang="EN-US">Character Biography </span></p> </div> <div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX207775333" style="text-indent: 0px; margin-left: 0px"> <p class="Paragraph SCX207775333" paraid="1741815459" style="text-align: right; background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; text-indent: 0px; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, 'Sans-Serif'; color: windowtext; font-size: 8pt; vertical-align: baseline; font-weight: normal"> <span class="TextRun SCX207775333" style="font-family: Times New Roman, Serif; font-size: 12pt" xml:lang="EN-US">February 10, 2012</span></p> </div> <div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX207775333" style="text-indent: 0px; margin-left: 0px"> <p class="Paragraph SCX207775333" paraid="2118737328" style="text-align: right; background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; text-indent: 0px; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, 'Sans-Serif'; color: windowtext; font-size: 8pt; vertical-align: baseline; font-weight: normal">  </p> </div> <div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX207775333" style="text-indent: 0px; margin-left: 0px"> <p class="Paragraph SCX207775333" paraid="1853315046" style="text-align: center; background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; text-indent: 0px; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, 'Sans-Serif'; color: windowtext; font-size: 8pt; vertical-align: baseline; font-weight: normal"> <span class="TextRun SCX207775333" style="font-family: Times New Roman, Serif; font-size: 12pt" xml:lang="EN-US">Character Biography for Mrs. Evans</span></p> </div> <div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX207775333" style="text-indent: 0px; margin-left: 0px"> <p class="Paragraph SCX207775333" paraid="1413396661" style="text-align: center; background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; text-indent: 0px; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, 'Sans-Serif'; color: windowtext; font-size: 8pt; vertical-align: baseline; font-weight: normal">  </p> </div> <div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX207775333" style="text-indent: 48px; margin-left: 0px"> <p class="Paragraph SCX207775333" paraid="1970900448" style="text-align: left; background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; text-indent: 48px; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, 'Sans-Serif'; color: windowtext; font-size: 8pt; vertical-align: baseline; font-weight: normal"> <span class="TextRun SCX207775333" style="font-family: Times New Roman, Serif; font-size: 12pt" xml:lang="EN-US">I will just keep it simple, and introduce myself as Mrs. Evans.  I was born April 1, 1905 in Salt Lake City, Utah.  I always felt a little cursed that I entered this world on April Fools Day as life managed to pull a series of pranks on me.  My mother was an immigrant from Denmark, and came to this country with her Mormon family at the age of ten.  My father was born in the United States, and was also a Mormon.  Sadly he was raised in the religion when polygamy was still being practiced.   Therefore he still felt entitled to always having multiple women around even though he was married to my mother.  Poor mom always felt that she just had to put up with my fathers running around because she had hardly any education, and spoke very poor English.  I started to question the dynamic of our family at a very young age.  I was instructed to follow the beliefs of the Mormon Church by both of my parents yet my father was running around on my mother. </span></p> </div> <div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX207775333" style="text-indent: 48px; margin-left: 0px"> <p class="Paragraph SCX207775333" paraid="2135840405" style="text-align: left; background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; text-indent: 48px; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, 'Sans-Serif'; color: windowtext; font-size: 8pt; vertical-align: baseline; font-weight: normal"> <span class="TextRun SCX207775333" style="font-family: Times New Roman, Serif; font-size: 12pt" xml:lang="EN-US">I was the only child in the family, which was unheard of in the Mormon Church.  Mom suffered many miscarriages after I was born, and pretty much just shut down emotionally.  I always got the feeling she married my father because she felt it was what her family wanted, and didn’t know anything else different.  My father did provide for us though with his job as a press operator for a large publication company.  My parents were both very thrifty with their spending, and we lived in comfortable home that they managed to hold onto even through the depression.  The depression taught me to always be very frugal, and never live too lavishly.  Because my parents were both very introverted I never became the most outspoken person, and was very shy.  I kept to myself in school, and watched all of the pretty girls become cheerleaders, land handsome boyfriends, and attend their proms.  I was a plane Jane that just blended in with the paint on the walls.  I stood five foot six, and always maintained a weight of around one hundred and thirty pounds.  My hair was thin, straight, and dirty blonde.  I must say it is on the more gray side now.  My clothes were mostly hand me downs from other members of the church, never designer labels.</span></p> </div> <div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX207775333" style="text-indent: 48px; margin-left: 0px"> <p class="Paragraph SCX207775333" paraid="1283003969" style="text-align: left; background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; text-indent: 48px; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, 'Sans-Serif'; color: windowtext; font-size: 8pt; vertical-align: baseline; font-weight: normal"> <span class="TextRun SCX207775333" style="font-family: Times New Roman, Serif; font-size: 12pt" xml:lang="EN-US">  I did however do very well in school, and always made straight A’s.  During my senior year of high school I was accepted into Brigham Young University.  I also landed a part time job at a local flower shop.  This is where I met Harry.  Harry was always coming in to buy floral arrangements for what he said were his clients.  He was traveling salesman for circus supply company.  I loved his jolly personality, and his extreme drive to succeed.  He was always very impressed at how organized I was with his account, and how quickly I put together the numbers for the totals of what we sold to him.  He said I was a savvy little no nonsense businesswoman.  Oh how he made my heart flutter, and I would anticipate each time he came into the shop.  One day he surprised me by asking me to lunch.  I could not believe this handsome young successful man was interested in me.  We started dating, but I had to keep it a secret since he was not of the Mormon faith, and I knew my parents would never approve.</span></p> </div> <div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX207775333" style="text-indent: 48px; margin-left: 0px"> <p class="Paragraph SCX207775333" paraid="2021681677" style="text-align: left; background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; text-indent: 48px; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, 'Sans-Serif'; color: windowtext; font-size: 8pt; vertical-align: baseline; font-weight: normal"> <span class="TextRun SCX207775333" style="font-family: Times New Roman, Serif; font-size: 12pt" xml:lang="EN-US">Our meetings were always short, and they always ended up with me helping him organize the figures for all of his clients.  They felt more like business encounters.  I didn’t mind.  As long as I got to be with Harry I was happy.  Harry did not show me much affection, just an occasional peck on the cheek, but he called me his girl.  I would have done anything for Harry.  I wanted to be his wife.  My greatest fear was this never coming to fruition.</span></p> </div> <div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX207775333" style="text-indent: 48px; margin-left: 0px"> <p class="Paragraph SCX207775333" paraid="1196091125" style="text-align: left; background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; text-indent: 48px; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, 'Sans-Serif'; color: windowtext; font-size: 8pt; vertical-align: baseline; font-weight: normal"> <span class="TextRun SCX207775333" style="font-family: Times New Roman, Serif; font-size: 12pt" xml:lang="EN-US">One day while I was in school my class was interrupted.  A staff member pulled my instructor out of the room, and I was asked to go with them outside into the hall.  I could tell by their faces something was terribly wrong.  My professor told me to sit down, and kneeled in front of me.  “There has been a serious accident, your parents were both just killed in a car wreck.  I’m very sorry.  Is there anyone we can call for you?”  </span></p> </div> <div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX207775333" style="text-indent: 48px; margin-left: 0px"> <p class="Paragraph SCX207775333" paraid="1699162561" style="text-align: left; background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; text-indent: 48px; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, 'Sans-Serif'; color: windowtext; font-size: 8pt; vertical-align: baseline; font-weight: normal"> <span class="TextRun SCX207775333" style="font-family: Times New Roman, Serif; font-size: 12pt" xml:lang="EN-US">There was no one.  My mother and father were my only family.  All I could think about was running to Harry, but then I realized I didn’t even know how to get in touch with him.  I became numb at that point, and proceeded home to make the necessary arrangements.  Not many would attend the funeral because of my father’s well-known philandering lifestyle.  I called the flower shop to let them know what happened, and to leave word for Harry to call me.  There was some insurance money from my parent’s accident, and the home I grew up in was left to me.  I decided not to finish the semester, and take a leave of absence from my job.  My boss and his family were very compassionate, and even offered to help me money wise if needed.  I let them know I was left in a decent financial state.  I then waited and waited for Harry to contact me.  My employer let Harry know of the tragedy that occurred in my life, and he said to send me his deepest condolences.  After a few weeks Harry apparently inquired on my financial status, and the owner of the shop informed him that I was probably set for the remainder of my life because of my gift of business smarts.  That night Harry showed up on my doorstep with the shops cheapest bouquet of flowers, a silver gold band, and asked me to marry him.  It was I thought the happiest moment of my life.  Harry claimed he did not buy me a fancy ring because he knew I liked to keep things practical.  I was not very impressed, but I didn’t care.  I was going to be Harry’s wife.  Nothing else mattered.  We went down to the Salt Lake City courthouse the next morning.  After the ceremony I pranced outside with my head held higher than ever because I had landed Utah’s most eligible bachelor.  I could see other women whispering as we passed by, but I knew they were just envious of me.  Out of the corner of my eye I saw the Salt Lake City Temple where I should have been married to a decent Mormon man.  So what if I wasn't going to what Mormons call the Celestial Kingdom where I would be in paradise for time and all eternity!  It would be worth suffering in the after life and residing in a lower kingdom knowing I had this short time on Earth with Harry.  My existence was now a fairytale.</span></p> </div> <div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX207775333" style="text-indent: 48px; margin-left: 0px"> <p class="Paragraph SCX207775333" paraid="1823728565" style="text-align: left; background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; text-indent: 48px; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, 'Sans-Serif'; color: windowtext; font-size: 8pt; vertical-align: baseline; font-weight: normal"> <span class="TextRun SCX207775333" style="font-family: Times New Roman, Serif; font-size: 12pt" xml:lang="EN-US">The honeymoon was over very quickly; in fact there never was a honeymoon.  As soon we got back to my house Harry instructed me to put my parents home on the market, and asked me to provide all of the records of my current finances.  Once he looked them over Harry told me to go to the bank and put his name on all of the accounts.  Again, I did as he asked because I just wanted to make him happy, and I was terrified of losing him.  Sadly, I learned very quickly that I never had Harry.  I was just an asset he acquired to get ahead in life.  The proceeds from my parents home were used to move us to the Midwest where his circus supply company was located.  He had me purchase two homes.  One was for us to live in, and the other he claimed was for his office, and to entertain his clients.  Harry was hardly ever home, and still never showed me much affection.  I tried my best to look attractive for him, kept our home immaculate, and organized his work affairs with ultimate precision.  I also tried my best to conceive a child, but was never successful.  I thought having Harry’s offspring would make him love me.</span></p> </div> <div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX207775333" style="text-indent: 48px; margin-left: 0px"> <p class="Paragraph SCX207775333" paraid="1251471621" style="text-align: left; background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; text-indent: 48px; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, 'Sans-Serif'; color: windowtext; font-size: 8pt; vertical-align: baseline; font-weight: normal"> <span class="TextRun SCX207775333" style="font-family: Times New Roman, Serif; font-size: 12pt" xml:lang="EN-US">People around town began to whisper about strange instances occurring at Harry’s home office, and that Harry had fetishes for odd women circus performers.  One day I dropped by the other home to find Harry engaged in a sexual act with a bearded woman named Annie.   After five years of marriage I realized I was invisible again just like when I was growing up, and I numbed myself.  Mom had taught me this all too well.  I faced the fact that Harry only married me because of my business sense and my inheritance.  I couldn’t leave the marriage because all of the finances were in Harry’s name, and I would be penniless. And so for the next fifteen years I just resigned to being Harry’s secretary, accountant, and housekeeper.  I moved my things into another room in the house. Of course Harry did not kick up a fuss about it.  I never complained, or questioned anything Harry did.  He made very good money, and I was careful to never spend too much of it.  I turned a blind eye, and a deaf ear to all of the notorious affairs Harry was engaging in with circus women throughout the country.  I even put up with Harry’s stick in the mud mother coming to visit from time to time, and was always cordial to Harry’s friends and colleagues who I have to say could be quite obnoxious most of the time</span></p> </div> <div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX207775333" style="text-indent: 48px; margin-left: 0px"> <p class="Paragraph SCX207775333" paraid="831934309" style="text-align: left; background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; text-indent: 48px; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, 'Sans-Serif'; color: windowtext; font-size: 8pt; vertical-align: baseline; font-weight: normal"> <span class="TextRun SCX207775333" style="font-family: Times New Roman, Serif; font-size: 12pt" xml:lang="EN-US">On April 1, 1955 I received a knock at the door around 11:00 PM.  Harry was out of town for a so-called business trip.  My heart sank as I found two police officers standing on the porch.  They both removed their hats, and told me Harry had been killed in a circus accident.  The men asked me the familiar question “is there anyone we can call for you?”  Once again there wasn’t. My marriage to Harry hadn’t been a fairytale of course, and most of me had come to almost hate him.  However, the young hopeful girl still buried inside of me kept loved him like crazy despite everything.  She not only loved him, but also still had a zest for life.  This sassy young lady residing inside of me would try and poke her head in from time to time when I was frustrated and sad all throughout my married life, but I refused to let her surface.  I could feel her crying inside of me, but I kept my  emotions buried.  Once again, I had business to take care of.</span></p> </div> <div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX207775333" style="text-indent: 48px; margin-left: 0px"> <p class="Paragraph SCX207775333" paraid="1137577483" style="text-align: left; background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; text-indent: 48px; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, 'Sans-Serif'; color: windowtext; font-size: 8pt; vertical-align: baseline; font-weight: normal"> <span class="TextRun SCX207775333" style="font-family: Times New Roman, Serif; font-size: 12pt" xml:lang="EN-US">I made the arrangements for Harry’s funeral, at a local church, and asked each of Harry’s closest colleagues and friends to spread word of the details of Harry’s service.  None of Harry’s acquaintances had ever taken the time to get to know me, but were surprised at how efficiently I handled everything.  They even complimented on what a pleasant lovely lady I was, and didn’t understand why Harry never brought me around more often.  With my spirits lifted from my recent recognition I was prepared to get the funeral under way.  I had no idea that I was about to walk into a series of landmines.</span></p> </div> <div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX207775333" style="text-indent: 48px; margin-left: 0px"> <p class="Paragraph SCX207775333" paraid="1863303140" style="text-align: left; background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; text-indent: 48px; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, 'Sans-Serif'; color: windowtext; font-size: 8pt; vertical-align: baseline; font-weight: normal"> <span class="TextRun SCX207775333" style="font-family: Times New Roman, Serif; font-size: 12pt" xml:lang="EN-US">When I got to the church, and the casket was opened a completely made up clown laid inside the coffin.  I was horrified at the mistake the mortuary had made.  The minister and guests had already begun to arrive.  I was too stunned to stop the service, and the mockery that began to take place.  The next hour was pretty much a blur, and I was too in much shock to stop the minister from telling racial jokes.  Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse a S.W.A.T. team showed up, and helicopters began to circle the building.  Apparently a terrorist got confused, thought the church was a government office, and called in a bomb threat.  And then I saw her!  I saw Annie hiding in the corner of the church. The next thing I knew I woke up on the couch in my own home surrounded by a group of acrobats from one of the circuses Harry worked with.  Apparently I had collapsed in the church.  They were gracious enough to take me home, and watch over me until I came to.   They were even kind enough to call the mortuary for me, and track down Harry’s body.  Little did I know I was going to be thrown for another loop.  Harry had been cremated by mistake, and I was to meet a Mr. Wade at the local bus station tomorrow afternoon to collect Harry’s ashes, and return the clown’s body.</span></p> </div> <div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX207775333" style="text-indent: 48px; margin-left: 0px"> <p class="Paragraph SCX207775333" paraid="445243144" style="text-align: left; background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; text-indent: 48px; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, 'Sans-Serif'; color: windowtext; font-size: 8pt; vertical-align: baseline; font-weight: normal"> <span class="TextRun SCX207775333" style="font-family: Times New Roman, Serif; font-size: 12pt" xml:lang="EN-US">That night I couldn’t sleep of course so I went through the mail that had piled up, and learned that a handsome sum from Harry’s life insurance policy was due me, and my investments had grown rather handsomely.  I was going to be very set financially, but what would I do with all of this excessive money?  I had never done anything for myself before.  I could take a trip to Hawaii, take piano lessons, and buy an actual piece of clothing with a designer label.  I still had plenty of life in me that I had never lived.  I stopped my train of though immediately.  How dare I think such thoughts so soon after Harry’s death.</span></p> </div> <div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX207775333" style="text-indent: 48px; margin-left: 0px"> <p class="Paragraph SCX207775333" paraid="1245413571" style="text-align: left; background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; text-indent: 48px; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, 'Sans-Serif'; color: windowtext; font-size: 8pt; vertical-align: baseline; font-weight: normal"> <span class="TextRun SCX207775333" style="font-family: Times New Roman, Serif; font-size: 12pt" xml:lang="EN-US">The next day I met Mr. Wade at the bus station to make the trade.  I just wanted to get it all over with.  I was almost embarrassed for Mr. Wade, as he was trying to smooth everything over and avoid a lawsuit.  The last thing I wanted was to drag things out any further.  It was still a shock though when Harry’s remains were handed to me in an urn, and my curiosity got the best of me.  I never really knew the exact details of how Harry was killed.  Mr. Wade informed me of a serious of tragic events that led to Harry's death when the fat lady landed on him while watching a circus performance.  I felt a little better knowing that Harry did at least not suffer, and was killed on impact.   </span></p> </div> <div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX207775333" style="text-indent: 48px; margin-left: 0px"> <p class="Paragraph SCX207775333" paraid="1160752354" style="text-align: left; background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; text-indent: 48px; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, 'Sans-Serif'; color: windowtext; font-size: 8pt; vertical-align: baseline; font-weight: normal"> <span class="TextRun SCX207775333" style="font-family: Times New Roman, Serif; font-size: 12pt" xml:lang="EN-US">Just when I thought the trade was complete, and everything was behind me Mr. Wade advised me that he found a bracelet in Harry’s pocket.  “Did Harry actually remember me on my birthday?”  Finally, I was going to be appreciated for all I had done for him.  I was so excited inside I thought I was going to burst.  I examined the beautiful gold bracelet in total awe.  Mr. Wade then informed me that it was inscribed.  Butterflies were swarming inside of me.  I knew the words wouldn’t be </span><span class="TextRun SCX207775333" style="font-family: Times New Roman, Serif; font-size: 12pt" xml:lang="EN-US">lovey</span><span class="TextRun SCX207775333" style="font-family: Times New Roman, Serif; font-size: 12pt" xml:lang="EN-US"> </span><span class="TextRun SCX207775333" style="font-family: Times New Roman, Serif; font-size: 12pt" xml:lang="EN-US">dovey</span><span class="TextRun SCX207775333" style="font-family: Times New Roman, Serif; font-size: 12pt" xml:lang="EN-US">, but I thought at least they would say something along the lines of “happy birthday Eleanor, thank you for everything you do”.  However, I was wrong and found it said “to my darling, Annie.  I’ll love you always Harry.”  Harry had made a fool of me once more even after his death.  I wanted to throw the bracelet on the floor and stomp on it, but what good would that have done?  Mr. Wade tried his best to console me.  Bless that mans heart. I tried my best to keep my composure as Mr. Wade and I said an awkward good bye.  Our whole conversation was like watching the waves of a turbulent ocean.  So many ups and downs, and finally when I saw the message on the bracelet it was like a tsunami hit.  </span></p> </div> <div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX207775333" style="text-indent: 48px; margin-left: 0px"> <p class="Paragraph SCX207775333" paraid="664080044" style="text-align: left; background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; text-indent: 48px; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, 'Sans-Serif'; color: windowtext; font-size: 8pt; vertical-align: baseline; font-weight: normal"> <span class="TextRun SCX207775333" style="font-family: Times New Roman, Serif; font-size: 12pt" xml:lang="EN-US">After Mr. Wade was gone I stood in the middle of the bus stop frozen for a moment.  I couldn’t ignore that young girl hopeful inside of me anymore.  She all of a sudden became a voice of reason.  All of Harry’s friends and Mr. Wade had paid me so many compliments.  I really wasn’t invisible.  People actually respected, and liked me.  I had my health, and plenty of years left of living.  I decided that I would never let anyone dictate my self worth again.  Harry was a selfish man with creepy fetishes.  “The joke is on you Harry!  I am the one reaping the benefits now.  I’m off to travel the world, and guess what, your not invited!”  I thought to myself, and began to grin like a Cheshire cat.  I threw Harry’s filthy ashes in nearest trashcan, took off my black hat, and pranced out of the bus station.  My mouth began to almost hurt in a good way from the delicious taste of liberation.</span></p> </div> <div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX207775333" style="text-indent: 48px; margin-left: 0px"> <p class="Paragraph SCX207775333" paraid="1647025970" style="text-align: left; background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; text-indent: 48px; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, 'Sans-Serif'; color: windowtext; font-size: 8pt; vertical-align: baseline; font-weight: normal">  </p> </div> <div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX207775333" style="text-indent: 48px; margin-left: 0px"> <p class="Paragraph SCX207775333" paraid="1299600857" style="text-align: left; background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; text-indent: 48px; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, 'Sans-Serif'; color: windowtext; font-size: 8pt; vertical-align: baseline; font-weight: normal">  </p> </div> <div class="OutlineElement Ltr SCX207775333" style="text-indent: 48px; margin-left: 0px"> <p class="Paragraph SCX207775333" paraid="722172533" style="text-align: left; background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; text-indent: 48px; font-family: 'Segoe UI', Tahoma, Verdana, 'Sans-Serif'; color: windowtext; font-size: 8pt; vertical-align: baseline; font-weight: normal">  </p> </div> <p>  </p>